Another Dream

Since I moved to Montreal, I haven't been dreaming much. I'm the type of person who usually has very vivid dreams and I like to tell people about them- but that hasn't been the case for the past little while.

However, I did dream last night!

It was all about figure skating. I was in a residence sort of like the one I live in right now, only much much larger and somehow everyone was best friends with each other. I remember rushing down the hall with a bunch of other girls to go to something very important.

When I got there, it was a large room, and the floor was all ice. We sat in a big circle (don't ask me why it wasn't cold when we sat down) and listened to the four teachers. There were two males and two females. I only remember my old high school musical theatre dance teacher, Ms. Marsh to be one of the women, and one of my really crappy RAs (resident assistant) to be one of the men, Morgan. The other woman was tall and Russian... and I feel like the other man was Snape... but I'm not sure, haha.

They were talking to us like the rest of our school year depended on this 'tryout' which apparently it did. They were doing a few rounds of testing: Each teacher would choose one student per round and test them on 'two intense components' which I think meant like, singing or dancing (figure skating dancing, that is) and dramatic performance.

I was the last chosen by the russian lady to do a scene where she was trying to pry into my dreams while I was sleeping, (Inception?) so I had to resist her like a virus, or something along those lines. I noticed my skates were a little loose so I took a moment to tighten them... only, when I got back up, a blade had completely broken off one of my skates. I just held it up in horror as everyone stared at me, and I could hear Ms. Marsh off to the side saying, "This is why you always turn your skate to the side when you're tying the other one!" In her very Ms. Marsh tone.

It was horrible, I asked around to borrow one skate but no one wanted to give up their chance to be chosen to try out. Then the russian lady merely said "Alright, you're done." It was so awful! It's like, I knew I could do the scene well and wow everyone if I just had the chance!

After that I remember running back to my room, upset. Then I heard some sort of protest outside in the hall, and it was all my friends saying that I should get another chance! It was so nice, but right when I was going to beg for another chance, I woke up. Some conclusion, eh?

So that was it, but I liked having dreamt again anyway. Even if there was no conclusion and it was all fairly short.

If I ever have interesting dreams, I'll most likely post them here. Hopefully more to come!

Apartment Hunting

It is currently around 12:30am on a Saturday night and what am I doing? Browsing craigslist, google & Kijiji for apartments. I'm moving in with my friend Katherine next year, which is exciting, but also stressful.

Now, I know it's January, and we're going to be living wherever in September, but apartments like you to lease in like, May, apparently. We're looking for a 2 bedroom, 4.5 all-inclusive place near campus. Pretty specific, but you kind of need to be.

So far we have a few places to tour, all very nice and close enough to school to walk (because I am NOT buying a metropass every month). But what's frustrating is like I said, it's January. That's WAY too early to start asking places to put a room on hold.

The thing is, I really don't want us to have to settle on a place. I HATE settling, it's worse than giving up. I want somewhere that we're comfortable with, and didn't have to look around for months to find. I know I'm thinking like we're in this perfect world where I'll find a building with everything we need right beside the main campus building, but... oh wait, I did find a place like that!

We tried to get a tour there but it's still too early. I just wanted to maybe pay a security deposit or something so we'd be guaranteed a spot, before all the vicious Concordians find that place and there's no space left!

The hunt continues. Wish us luck!

Thrown Back into the Habit

It's been a while since I've last posted, I know; but I warned you didn't I? That I'd be on Christmas vacation and not so interested in the virtual world (as it wouldn't be keeping me from my studies at that time).

But here I am, again. And tonight I am a little sad. Not as sad as I was when I first got back, or at least, not as emotional.

Katherine and I watched that movie The Lovely Bones earlier. I'd seen it before, the tragic story of a girl who is killed by her neighbor and her watching her own life after she's gone. The first time I read it I was sad, the first time I saw it I was sad, but somehow the second time I just watched it made me really upset.

The movie revolves around family a lot, and that's the problem. It's like whenever I see something having to do with family and being together I get all upset. I know this won't go on forever, but it's still very annoying.

I was home for a total of 3 1/2 weeks over the holiday... which proved to be a bit too long apparently, because I was just thrown back into the habit I'd been trying to kick for the past 3 months since I moved- needing my family to be happy.

Over the break we went to my cottage for Christmas with some cousins, it turned out to be a really nice time. I'd choose a winter wonderland over mucky Toronto for Christmas day anytime. We have three snowmobiles there that we've been riding for almost three years now, and there have really been no accidents to date.

We went out on boxing day for a drive around the lake: me on one snowmobile, my mum on one and Tom & Molly sharing one. The roads were icy, but we were being careful.

While going up a big hill, Mum in the front, me following and Molly & Tom far behind, my mum turned at the top and started to fishtail. She hit the brakes and immediately the snowmobile rolled on it's side, doing a full turn until it was upright again. Luckily my mum rolled out from under it before it fell on top of her, but it felt like everything that I just saw took years to happen. I was watching my mother get out from under a 600 pound machine and there was nothing I could do about it.

She hurt her ankle, not badly, but we're lucky that's all that happened.

The point of this story is, when that happened, all I could think about was how little I'd seen my mother over the past three months. Had anything serious happened, I would've felt so guilty having chosen Montreal instead of staying in Toronto where I could be close to her, and the rest of my family and friends who I miss. I miss them every second of every day and it's so difficult.

From watching The Lovely Bones and seeing the family missing their fifth member, these feelings flooded me and I just got so upset.

I always thought that I was the strongest, most independent one of my siblings, and that when Molly would cry about going back to residence 6 blocks away, she was insane. I figured I'd move away, miss everyone and move on- it didn't exactly work that way. Now look at me: it's quarter to one in the morning on a Sunday and I'm left writing sad blogs about being lonesome.

I promise I'll stop whining soon, maybe after first year... maybe after third year, actually.

To end on a happy note, I don't regret moving to Montreal, I really do love it here. What I regret is not being able to see the people I love more than anything on a daily basis. But this is all normal (or, that's what I'm told) so I'm gonna stick it out in my new home.

Goodnight.