The (going) Home Stretch

I'm leaving for home in 5 days, and couldn't be more excited. A vacation for 3 weeks where I can actually be HOME and around loved ones? Yes please.

But I'm in a constant state of conflict. See, I leave for home on Friday, but I have an exam both on Thursday AND Friday, starting at 9am and lasting for three hours. It's like as soon as I feel overwhelmed with happiness that I'll be in my own bed for a good while, those damn exams pop into my head and remind me I'm not on vacation yet.

I've been studying a good amount, I'd say. I made 64 flash cards of literary terms, tropes, figures, critical issues, approaches, etc. and I've been pulling them out a few times a day to help with the memorization process. That's just for one exam, though.

As for my British Literature to 1660 course, I have no clue how to study for it. We must've covered 10 huge books all within 200 years of each other. How? HOW do you prepare for every book?! It's been driving me crazy. Maybe it'll just be stuff on notes we took in class, or things we discussed in detail during the semester. But anyway, I have that class both Monday and Tuesday (this exam is Friday) so hopefully my Prof will clear things up for us.

Other than school work, I've been running around cleaning and doing laundry. There are specific things we have to do here before we leave residence for the holidays, apparently. Things like taking out the trash & recycling, unplugging all electronics, making it evident we won't be here, etc. But I've been packing. I've already lined up my outfits for the week and packed everything I don't need in my daily. After I wear the clothes, they simply get packed one by one (to be washed at home, where I need not pay).

Good system, right? But here's the thing- I'm going home on the train, and they only allow 2 pieces of carry-on luggage. I have my humungous suitcase (which apparently is still within the limit of dimensions), my guitar and my laptop bag, which just acts as my purse on board. Does a purse count as carry on? And will my guitar be denied because of IT'S dimensions? I looked in the luggage policy online and NOWHERE did it mention musical instruments. Frustration.

When I asked my mom if I should leave my guitar here just in case, she replied "But how can we be the family Von Kostelnik without a guitar?" That statement itself convinced me that I am bringing it no matter what.

I'm thinking of wearing my laptop bag stealthily under my poofy winter jacket (the bag is fairly thin) and taking it out once I'm on board. Eh? Eh? That would be a good story.

Regardless of all this crap I'm complaining about, I'm still excited to be home for a while and do all those stereotypical Christmas-y things. Skating, hot chocolate, Christmas specials on TV, of course going up the the cottage, visiting relatives in London (Ontario), and all the little things in between.

I'm almost positive I won't be posting in the time that I'm home, so if I don't, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Seasons Greetings, Happy Holidays, and all the rest that follow.

What a Weekend.

I don't think I've had this much fun on a weekend for a long time.

Saturday at noon I left for Ottawa on the bus and arrived at 2:30pm. I took a cab to the Westin (the downtown Ottawa hotel ATTACHED to the Rideau Center) and checked in. Shortly after, my mum and sister, Molly, got there! We immediately dropped everything and went SHOPPING! Mostly it was Christmas shopping, but it was still fun.

We were there until about 6pm then decided to call it quits out of exhaustion (and the amount of bags we had to carry). So basically we collapsed when we got back to the hotel, then realized our hunger out-weighed our fatigue. And when you're hungry & mum's paying, where do you go? THE KEG.

Yes, The Keg. It was a 65-75 minute wait, but we clocked our time at the bar (where I didn't get carded & got to try my first sour apple martini) while watching the hockey game. The dinner pretty much consisted of garlic flatbread, baked potato, sauteed veggies, steak, chicken and lobster. And no, we couldn't get up after that.

But once we decided that we could finally stand, we headed back to the hotel and watched Made of Honor on TV. I had never seen it before, and I love Patrick Dempsey, but it wasn't that good. It pretty much only served as a movie to fall asleep to for me. I give it 2 1/2 out of 5 stars.

The next morning we woke up to coffee and croissants. After we checked out, we drove to my cousin Edward and his wife Sandra's house, where the 2-month-old triplets have taken over recently. I've been following the blog they've been keeping since first finding out they were having triplets (www.edwardsandra.blogspot.com) but seeing the babies in real life is sooo different! Little Evelyn, Keith and Colin are all darlings and behave like saints... well, when company's around, anyway.

Since there were 3 babies and 3 of us, I took Keith, Molly took Colin and my mum took Evelyn. Keith is the very talkative one; he is constantly babbling on and loves to stick his tongue out. We had a very nice cuddle. Colin is the one who likes to move around and make big facial expressions. Most of them look worried, but he's never really distressed. And Evelyn is quieter, from what I could tell. Granted she was sleepy, but even when we were feeding her she was very calm.

I love that even at 2 months (they were born September 25th, but their due date was something like November 23rd) you can tell apart their very different personalities. Because they were born so early but were due around now, it's like they're newborns, but very advanced newborns. They interact with you, make a lot of eye contact and can grip things pretty tightly (my finger).

So then my bus was at 3pm, and I got home at around 5:15pm. Just being around family, especially the newest little members of our family, was great. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone again which is actually in less than 2 weeks. And hopefully I'll see the triplets sooner than later as well.

Desserts, Drinks & Detours

Artemis, Bob, cranberry, Dorval, Eve, frugal, grug, hamster, igloo, justice, King, liberty, monologue, nose-picker, octopus, partidge, Queen, rat-a-tat-tat, serendipity, turtle, university, vuvuzuela, witchcraft, xin, yeller, zizi.

I'm sure if you took the time to read through that list you'd notice that it is completely random and alphabetical. I'll explain when the story comes to it.

Tonight I went to a party. It wasn't a 'beer pong' & 'drinking games' party, it was a dessert and drinks get together! I was hesitant to go at first because when Katherine invited me she seemed really eager to have me come. So eager that I figured it would be either boring or scary so she needed a close friend to be there with her. I reluctantly agreed to go- and had an amazing time!

It was hosted by one of her fine arts friends, Sonya, who has her own place up near Snowdon metro (about 6 stops from our metro with one transfer). Her apartment is like... 4 1/2 and she shares with one person. She only pays around $500 a month! That's less than residence and about 5 times BIGGER. I feel jipped. Anyway, that's beside the point.

When we got there (Katherine, Anaberta, Lucia and I) we were the first ones. Collectively we brought pies, eggnog, wine and those little puffy pastry things filled with custard... I don't know. Eclairs? Maybe. But eventually about 7 more people showed up with MORE desserts and drinks.

After having our fill of liquor and sugary treats, we decided to play charades. It was actually such great fun. I only knew 3 of the 12 people there so I was a bit nervous, but everyone was really nice and it was easy to warm up to them. Some of the better charade choices were: Bill Nye the Science Guy, Picasso, Tuck Everlasting and Spanglish. SPANGLISH. How do you guess that?! I won't explain, but my team was awesome, and we won.

We left at about 12:30am to catch the last metro back before it closed at 1am. We went 2 of our 6 stops, not having transfered yet, and the train stopped, the lights shut off and a very muddled french voice came over the speakers. What I could make of it was that there was an injury ahead and it would be hours before the train moved. Great. Stuck somewhere foreign in Montreal. But we did the smart thing and looked up a bus route. A bus that would take half an hour to arrive.

Luckily, being art kids, we spent our time in the negative 3 degree weather waiting in the bus stop booth, playing drama games. One happened to be that game where someone starts with a word that starts with A. The next person has to say the A word and add a B word. The next says A, B and adds a C word. You get it. We actually FINISHED which I had never done before. And you can see the above words to see the torture of our memory to remember them all.

Needless to say, it took 1 hour & 20 minutes to get home when the original commute was 15 minutes. However, the ride there wasn't nearly as fun as the adventure to get home in a new city, with new friends.

Goodnight, Montreal. Thanks for a fun night!

Wake up Exhausted

I really hate the term 'wake up exhausted' but it's been true for me the past few days. I don't know what it is, I'm getting 7-9 hours of sleep each night which is what's recommended. It's just frustrating that I never feel well-rested. Especially with all the stress of upcoming exams & final essays. My earliest class is at 9:15am and even that seems too early. The rest of the week is 10:15am and even then I still bum around getting ready in the morning like I've only been asleep for an hour.

Hoping I'll get out of this slump soon, though. I can't be sluggish when I write exams in December.

Gratitude

So this morning I was at the cafeteria with Katherine and Dylan for brunch. During that time I learned a few things:

1) Putting a fried egg on a pita with hummus, tomato and cucumber might just be the best thing ever.

and

2) I have a really amazing life.

You might wonder where the second one came from. Let me explain.

We were discussing our childhoods, then moved into a series of questions about our lives. For example: If you had a 'good' childhood, who would you be today? Who are your heroes, and your monsters? If you could change something about your life, what would it be? Etc.

Answering some of these questions almost felt like they were a trick because everything seemed so simple. I had a great childhood, so I am who I am already. I idolize family more than anything & have no monsters to speak of. And I really couldn't think of anything worth while to say about how I would change my life. The only thing that came to mind was 'money' which is so trivial. When I thought that, it was mostly about paying tuition and having my parents retire at a reasonable age. Sure I like nice stuff, who doesn't? But I feel like my life is so great already that asking for anything else would be pushing it.

Then there's the topic of being a queer identified female in 2010. Would I change that? It seems like a reasonable thing to want to change. Mostly to avoid all the hardships that come with a label like that. But I really wouldn't change it for anything. It's as much a part of who I am as my genetic coding- it can't be changed.

Now I'm not here to preach about homophobia in society or further babble about how much I love that I know myself well enough to figure these things out, but I just felt like I should express some sort of gratitude to my life. Growing up for me was fairly sheltered, and I wouldn't have changed that, either.

People talk about hating their parents and their high school experiences... neither of those I understand or experienced in the least. And I'm so thankful for that. I have an amazing life, and hopefully it'll stay that way.

I'M BACK BETCHES!

That title was very uncharacteristic of me, but I felt the need to exclaim the fact that I am writing here again after a year of nothing. Also because of the fact that I spent the last hour searching for my login name and password, reseting files, getting confirmation emails, etc. about the subject. Then finally I got both my email and password right. I swear I could hear angels singing.

Reading my posts from a mere year ago, I find that I've changed in that short amount of time. I used to complain about being alone, now I'm happy to have my privacy. I've since moved away from home and, sure I miss my family, but I'm definitely becoming my own person now. It's really liberating. And I find comfort in reading those old posts, because I see the amount of growth that can happen in 12 months.

One of them was from when I was alone on the weekend, cold and shakey. I remember it perfectly, actually. That feeling isn't uncommon, but that's not to say I'm angsty and cold all the time. But it's a very specific thing that I feel where my chest gets weak and it feels like everything is shaking when really I'm just sitting still. It's really strange. But just reading that and remembering it was like Past Emily saying it's still gonna be okay. Like this happens often but it always stops.

Cliche sentiments aside, I'm glad to be back and writing. Even if only for now. Chances are in a month I'll stop out of forgetfulness or just plain laziness. When that time comes, perhaps a year will pass and I'll look back again. Maybe that time I'll remember my login info.